I have suffered a devastating blow. My pride, my ego, my heart, all have suffered. 😥 Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good people have traumatic experiences?
I don’t deserve this, I know I don’t. God knows I just don’t deserve it. 😪
I was in church on Wednesday for mid week service. When I was about to sit down, my eyes just locked with one very fine boy like that looked like husband material… Normally, I would have just shrugged and concentrated on the service, but today I was looking very fine so I decided to use what the Lord gave me to attract whom I want to attract. I was calm and collected throughout the service and since I did not always come for mid week service, I was convinced that God brought me there for “a purpose”… (Lord let your will be done!) .
It did me as if the guy was staring at me since we were sitting in opposite directions. So I was focused. I only laughed when it was necessary and smiled slot even when there was no reason to. After the service, I did not go out as hurriedly as always, I delayed small. First of all I did like I was waiting for someone. Still nothing happened 😥. Choi! He did not even look at my direction after the service. My chewst o!
This is not over! 😌
Having a die hard spirit, on Sunday, I decided to try again. I took my time to dress, did my make up meticulously. Even me, I was crushing on myself before I left for church. 😁
When I got there I was determined to sit where I would be sure to see him since he was a worker, but my village people used the ushers to scatter my plan. 😡
The service was ongoing I was looking round to see if I would see him. Then announcement time came and the announcer was like ” The families of. .. . and… . wish to invite you for the wedding solemnization of their children. … and . …. If they are here in this service they should come up.
That was when my heart exploded…. My brain stopped working….all I was hearing was “tum, tum, tum”. My chewst was doing gymnastics. My village people were singing in my ears.
My “intended” and his bride to be climbed the altar 😱.
“Blood of Melchizedek!” My plans are in shambles, my imaginations are lying hopeless on the ground… My heart cannot take it! 😭😭😭😭
When the announcer said. .. .”If you have any reason why these two should not be married…..” My instincts was to jump up and scream “This boy is mine!” but mercy said No. So I sat back and sulked in my chair. My eyes followed them back to their seats. They were even doing love things all through the service! 😭 This is too much for me!
Nobody should talk to me now 😑. . . My heart is fragile… I have not yet recovered from the trauma.
I have been asking God “why” since..why would he send me “signs” without accompanying it with wonders? 🤥 Why? 😭😭