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THICK GIRL DIARY: Meet That Thick JJC….πŸ€₯

Throwback to 2011, roughly seven (7) years ago. I was in SS 2. (time flies sha). Myself and a group of other girls were selected from my school (an all girls school) to represent Plateau state in a Presidential debate competition. We made it to the zonals in Benue and finally to the national level to represent the middle belt in Abuja.

I have never been to Abuja before in my life!  What do they do in Abuja?  Will the people be different? Chai! How do I even comport myself? I selected my best clothes and even stole some of my sisters clothes, (your girls gotta represent yo!) I also stole my mother’s cream so I would smell really  nice. (I didn’t get hold of any perfume, if not I would have stolen that one too) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
I was mentally prepared to pull off any big girl moves… Yo! Your girl was ready!

When we got to the hotel where we were to lodge, there were plenty of all those “botty” children scattered all over the place, and plenty of those that wore glasses with ropes. My heart sank! Our hearts sank!
We soon got over it though. We prepared to take action…our arguments must make sense!

Long story short,  we did not make it to top 10.

However, on the last night,  the night of awards…. I made a grave mistake that still haunts me to this day!  Quick word of wisdom: nerves let opportunities pass you by, no matter what! πŸ˜‘

We were to have dinner at Transcorp Hilton Hotel, Umu chineke nna! Transcorpu Hiltonu! (I don’t need to tell you that I had never been to a five star hostel).😚
That was also my first time encountering prostitutes, like high class “I only follow Oyinbo and senator” prostitutes  (that place was an eye opener)😌 .

The ceremony had started with all the long long speeches. We didn’t have lunch that day so my stomach was growling.  I was suffering within and out. πŸ˜ͺ
Meanwhile, there was something that looks like bread and something else that I couldn’t recognize at the center of the table. but nobody touched it. It was only later that I realized you were supposed to eat itπŸ˜‘. I thought it was ornament πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯. (So all those on my table, nobody was bourgie πŸ™‰)

They passed cocktail drinks around, but unfortunately, it didn’t reach our table 😭😭😭. ( Now that I think of it,  my village people had a hand in this πŸ˜₯). I was dying inside to eat that thing that was hanging by the mouth of the glass and to also see whether the umbrella thingy was edible!  πŸ˜‘. Opportunity lost!  Nonsense!

Soon after,  it was time to eat. Buffet service… Take as much as you like! ( We all know that is a farce!)
I marched on,  took a plate and dished out the only familiar thing to me…rice… Very small, so I don’t seem like a greedy person,  next I marched on to something that looks like meat,  took some, and marched on to the one that had the likeness of fried fish….that was when one rude waitress told me, “You can’t have this if you’ve had this” πŸ™„ Excuse ma, excuse me…infact, My brothers and sisters in the Lord, help and and pray for thunder! ( Shei you people heard when I said, we did not eat afternoon food?πŸ˜’)

So I had only one spoon of rice and meat on my plate…shame didn’t allow me continue. I went back and sat down.  My mind was not on the food I was eating. It was on the food I was not eating! My hunger made me very very angry!

When I thoght my situation was the worst,  some two brothers from Kaduna at our table came back with half plate of salad! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

*Have you been in a similar situation? Tell me in the comment section below!

 If you enjoyed reading, also tell me below! 

Ehen !And help me share too,  I also want to blow! 😁😁

*Thick Girl


  1. Yeah this was a nice read!!!.. Got cracked up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. This was aweeeesomee. I was just laughing kakiri

  3. Lol 😁. I'm glad you liked it! Thank you

  4. Lol. Thank you so much Anjola. I'm glad you liked it! 😁

  5. LMAO ! Nice one

  6. Thank you Adaora.. 😁😁

  7. U will be among the sky reachers if there's a word like that. Ur blog is quite interesting n inspiring.

  8. Thank you so much. It means a lot! 😁

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